Abstract
It is one thing to work with willing children who come to our offices seeking help. It is another thing entirely when parents and concerned adults wish to help the child but are restricted due to issues of locality, the child’s very young age, the child’s willingness, or even incarceration due to the child’s behavioral problems. This article offers a new approach using the willing adult acting as a surrogate for the child in the therapy process. As always, it is important to verify the parent’s inner experience in the surrogate role by observing the child’s actual behavioral change.
My son had nightmares for many months. After two sessions with a colleague by me they stopped. I heard similar complaints of other parents whose children experienced sleep problems and nightmares and soon the first childhood issue came to me. Word-of-mouth did the rest. After a number of sessions, I wrote my experiences down.
A General Picture of Problem Children
Problem children to about 4 years of age are labeled as lively, clumsy, antisocial, or pigheaded. Child healthcare centers observe backwardness in one or more areas of health and behavior. They often have allergies, inflammation of the ear or of the tonsils, etc.
After that age, parents and specialists alike want to label the problems. Without a proper diagnosis, parents receive neither public help nor are reimbursed for extra costs. Without a proper diagnosis, problem children do not get extra support at school, they cannot be referred to special schools, and parents are not eligible for vouchers to procure professional help. Popular diagnostic labels are ADHD, Asperger, autism, and PDDNOS. Parents now have a name for the problem behavior and usually say, “We must learn to live with it.”
I noticed that these children are often very smart (thought not necessarily school smart) and that they often think in colors. They seem to see no boundaries and they are difficult to stop, even when they hurt themselves.
The Official Approach and Its Results
The medical approach is to suppress symptoms and leveling or evening out of the emotions. Inflammation of the ear can be operated on, allergies can be stopped, and Ritalin keeps them calm. It helps in a way. But with the cause undiscovered and unresolved, the inflammation of the ear will come back again and again. Leveling the emotions with medicine also works, initially. The child is less angry or sad, is more pleasant to hang out with, and less difficult to handle at school. For the people around the child it might appear to be a great improvement. But is it for the child? The child is also less happy and it can less love. Oops!
When these children are 16 or 18, they stop with these “stupid pills,” as the children call them. I know several cases of children who got off track entirely: violence, drugs, police, and much worse. In one case exactly the opposite happened. The child didn’t understand anything of the world anymore, turned inward, and could not be reached anymore.
These children are considered difficult and often receive professional help. However, they are having a difficult time and we need to find out why. Regression therapy appears to be suitable for that.
Measuring Results of My Sessions
First I tried sending evaluation forms 6 weeks after the session, but this did not work; no one returned the forms. I found that a formal phone call to the child’s parents, during which I used a checklist to gather information relevant to the child’s case, was very effective in collecting the evaluation data. This article is based on 30 sessions with 27 children. My discussion here focuses mainly on the children in discussing the sessions, the results, and the feedback. The impact on the surroundings of the children has been insufficiently measured to draw conclusions. Remarkably, sleep problems have much more often an unequivocal cause than other problems.
Procedure
The sessions are remote sessions using a relative as a surrogate for the child. In 85% of the cases, they were done with the mother; in the remaining cases with the father or a grandparent. They start with personifying the child in a space that is acceptable for the child and the parent. The child is not present at the session and may be far away, even in another country. I had the parent step into the child to make the experience as little dissociated as possible and the perceptions more associative. The aim of this approach was to find out if any influence of the parents contributed to the problems and to take the feelings of the child seriously.
Other than that small difference in procedure, the sessions did not differ from regular sessions, with the difference that somatics of the child were expressed energetically.
In 15 cases, the children slept longer and deeper during one or two weeks, which could indicate that they were processing the results of the session subconsciously.
Presenting problems
Sleep problems 16x
Bullying by other children 4x
Eating disorders 3x
Lack of attachment to others 3x
Allergy 1x
Doesn’t feel at home at special school 1x
An overly busy child 1x
Aggressive against sister 1x
Degree to which the presenting problems were solved
Problems solved 15x
Problems mainly solved 9x
Problems partially solved 4x
Problems hardly or not solved 1x
No reaction because of transfer 1x
I. Sleep Problems
These are by far the largest group of problems. However, 65% of the group also had problems with overactive behavior, weak concentration, and being undisciplined. Children of this group at school age already had problems at school.
Causes Found
In ten cases, one or more grandparents (nine of them deceased) came to visit the child energetically, usually with the best of intentions. It was rather simple to help those people or to have them agree to keep more distance. However, one was an African grandmother who sent an angry etheric mask at night, like a curse. This was based on a misunderstanding because of cultural differences. The woman was not only angry but also sad, because she also loved the child. When she started to cry, I let her cry on the mask, and the etheric mask dissolved.
In five cases, place-bound or house-bound obsessors were around a long time before the child. In three of the cases the obsessors had not even noticed the child. In one case, the obsessor was teasing the child because he had been teased in the same way. The fifth case was more complicated.
In late medieval times, the Netherlands knew prolonged domestic strife, involving nobles and commoners alike, not unlike the War of the Roses in England. These troubles lasted more than a century and many people died as a result of the conflicts. One housing estate was built on a field in which the dead of both sides were buried together. The undead of that battlefield apparently were still fighting. In the session it took quite a while to convince them their lives were over as was the quarrel that started it all. The undead found closure and rest. A week later the parents reported that now not only did their son sleep well, but so did seven other children in the same housing estate. My theory is that these other children were disturbed by the fighting of the undead as well.
The last case was one of revenge from a previous life. This resolved itself when the entity realized that she obstructed herself more than the client. Her new realization came after the past-life story had been told and her options explained clearly.
Results Obtained
All children slept well within two weeks of their sessions. In most cases I got extra feedback:
Happier 11x
Calmer 6x
Better results at school 5x
Expresses itself more 4x
Easier to communicate with 3x
Finally seems to manage living 1x
In eight cases, the attached entity wanted to help the child because the parents had some conflicts. In four cases this happened before birth, when parents discovered the pregnancy. In two cases the mother panicked and rejected the pregnancy, essentially or actually saying “I don’t want this;” and the father rejected the pregnancy also, saying “shit, that sucks” and “get rid of it.”
In two other cases the reaction, “I don’t want you,” was actually meant for the other partner, and in four cases conflicts between the parents and rejection of the child happened in the first three years of childhood. One time this happened in front of the child and three times at night in the next room.
II. Bullying
In the four cases of bullying, the child had very low self-confidence. The parents had been bullied themselves at school and now did their own bullying of the child; with the girls it was the mother, and with the boys the father. In one case the pattern started three generations back. The other three cases started after the German occupation in World War II.
In three cases, the energy of the bullying pattern transferred itself from parent to child slowly over several weeks; in the fourth case, the father had absorbed the fear at once.
With bullying, breaking the pattern took longer (2 – 6 weeks) before it stopped; probably because the parents needed to change also.
III. Eating Disorders
One child had a past life as a man caught for crimes in a time of food shortage. He was a prisoner for three years with little food and drink. Before they hung him, they offered him a meal of chicken. He refused it with the thought “I will never eat again.” The child’s mother in this lifetime was his fiancée in the past life.
The child is now 3.5 years old. Eight months ago the problem was triggered by eating chicken for the first time. The session closed with a good meal in the etheric realm with the past-life family all together. Eating is an issue in this family. The mother is a vegetarian and eats organic food; the father, with African roots, likes meat. They no longer live together.
One child with bouts of eating and not eating, explored two past lives related to this: one of abundance and one of shortage. A session with collapsing anchors accelerated the resolution of this problem, but the child could probably have resolved it without this intervention. The trigger for this problem was the present life mother’s concern, which was connected to her blaming the child in a past life. In that past life she had the power, so the child felt he wasn’t wanted now.
Results Obtained
Eating improved after one or two weeks. The parents saw the problem differently and behaved differently. In the two cases, family life was smoother afterwards.
IV. Detachment Problems
Two children, who didn’t attach themselves to others, had several hospital visits as babies. The detachment problem seemed to have three causes. My observation is the primary cause and worst part was that the mother couldn’t stay with them in the hospital. The second cause was cold and distant treatment by the hospital staff (including wrong injections). This attracted several attachments (in one case one attachment, in the other case three attachments). The third cause was the effects of medicine, anesthetics, and chemo.
I needed only one session with both children to explore the time in the hospital, the reasons for it, and the role of the parents at that time. The parents of one child came together during that time; the other couple split, although it is not clear if the problems with the child were related to this. Parental feedback after one to three weeks: I can touch him; he wants to hug now; he finally wants to go to preschool class.
The third child with attachment problems was a foster child. I did one session with the adoptive mother. The girl was very damaged psychically, physically, and emotionally somewhere in the Balkans in every way imaginable. Her child qualities are gone, she seems barely human, and is severely traumatized by this past severe abuse. In that session we took away as much energetic garbage in the form of energy from others as possible. After a long search, I found a little white dove, deeply tucked away inside her. At least she may find the way to it now. The child afterwards was committed to a closed institution.
V. Allergy
This one case involved a five-year-old girl with red spots erupting on her arm, then her leg, and then her body. Doctors thought of food allergy, but were still not finished with testing. We found a past life where she was executed by a firing squad. The fear was triggered in this life during school. The child felt threatened by the other kids and the teacher smelled like the forest where she was executed. The mother had a similar past-life experience of execution in a forest. The skin rashes disappeared after a week and have not returned.
VI. Doesn’t Feel at Home at a Special School
This is a case of a nine year old boy; his mother acted as the surrogate.
We’ve looked in the life preparation stage to see if there was a reason for mental retardation. It appeared that there was a choice for a simple life after a tiring life. It is a kind of pause; nice quiet parents, relatively quiet surroundings, very well to do. Why the disorder then? The boy wanted to be a lorry driver, which is difficult with an IQ of 80. You need to have an IQ of 90-95: the requirement of a driver’s license, map reading ability, etc. During the session something seemed to happen in the head of the boy, which made him very happy. The mother said it looked like a connection was made. It felt good. Using future pacing, the mother saw him later walking in a regular school and laughing. That picture is coming true now.
VII. An Overactive Child
This child of separated parents had from time to time what I would call a “short circuit” in his head, followed by a kind of panic, and then suddenly turn savage and wild. The “short circuit” seemed to be a pseudo-obsessor who came to help when his father first hit him. The panic and behavior change had more to do with the lack of boundaries of the mother. She went to work on that with good results. The changes in the child after six weeks, according to the mother:
- He came to kiss me regularly starting a day after the session
- In one week he slept more peacefully
- He is quieter and more tempered in his behavior
- He communicates a lot more
- He expresses himself in conversation and behavior more clearly now
- The “short circuits” have stopped
- It’s like I reach him more (Mother)
VIII. Aggression Against Sister
The focus of this case was a seven-year-old boy who was busy and aggressive towards his younger sister. When he was four years old, a pseudo-obsessor came, after what seemed like a fight between father and mother. The mother refused to talk about this event. I showed the past-life entity of the child that we now live in a different time and what his effort to help affected the boy. He saw where he could go when the boy didn’t need him anymore. The mother wanted to stop, so I had to stop the session.
The boy’s behavior improved for the first two weeks after the session, then there was fall back , though he is less aggressive to his little sister now.
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Provisional Conclusions and Observations
- Remote regression and past-life therapy is well suited for young and very young children.
- It is not necessary, even undesirable, that they are present at the session.
- The children sense we are working with them. Through feedback from family members I learned that half of them behaved differently during the sessions. Younger children (up to the age of six or seven) are quieter; older children are louder. It could be that older children subconsciously want to understand what is happening.
- In 65% of the cases, parents discover they are part of the problem. Almost all of them indicate they understand the children and themselves better.
- In seven cases, I am sure that serious future learning behavior problems have been prevented. The portents of such problems strongly decreased or disappeared.
- Remote sessions take longer to get results than direct sessions. When parents are the problem, how fast they process and change seems to determine how quickly or slowly the solutions come.
- Although not measured, families seem to enjoy collateral benefits: more calm, more time for the children, or more time for each other.